Decide if you should care:
Not everyone who crosses your path is someone you should seek out as a friend. If a coworker or someone you are not invested in dislikes you, it may not be pleasant, but you can decide if it is worth it to try to build the necessary bridges and win them over. Not everyone is worth your effort, especially if they are really difficult and you lose nothing by avoiding them.
Take a look at yourself:
Did you make a mistake? Does the person have a legitimate reason to dislike you? It might be worth it to apologize and try to set the record straight about your behaviors if you think they might be justified in not liking something you did or are doing. Admitting a mistake is different from beating yourself up about it. Everyone makes mistakes. It is important to forgive yourself, even if the other person doesn’t.
Don’t be afraid to say goodbye if the person is actively trying to hurt you. It is okay to prioritize yourself in these situations and remove yourself from the crosshair. Sometimes people rub each other the wrong way and there is nothing to be done but avoid each other, especially if the situation is getting out of control and you are getting hurt.
- It can be tempting sometimes to stay and fight, but disengaging is its own form of power. You are standing up for yourself and telling the person that you refuse to be bullied.
- Disengaging might be avoiding them when it is acceptable to do so, like if you are coworkers but you are not collaborating on anything. It might also be removing the person from your social media feeds so that you aren’t tempted to interact with them.
Let go of the need for approval:
How important is it that this person likes you? Are there other people who do like you? Friends and family? Avoid worrying about one person who has a problem with you, which could be about their own issues rather than anything to do with you.
- Some people will dislike you because they envy you. Don’t let people bring you down because of your successes.
Focus on the positive things:
If you are feeling down about someone disliking you, do something to help yourself feel better. If you love working out, go to the gym to get your mind off of things. If you have friends who appreciate you, spend time with them to remind yourself of your self-worth. This doesn’t have to bother you if you don’t let it.
- If you know why the person dislikes you, ask yourself if it is really important that they like you. Does it really matter what they think? Do they dislike a lot of people? You may not be “special” in that case.
- You can also try reframing the criticism to make it positive. If someone says you are always late or always asking people for favors, try to think of ways you could improve in those areas. Alternatively, if you think the person is wrong, try to think of all the times you are not late and the times you do favors for other people.